How We Choose...

How do we choose who to pursue on an online dating or matchmaking site? How do we choose who to respond to on such sites?

Most men have set criteria that they look for.  Matchmaking sites do their best to winnow it down to just the best prospects, however often times their criteria is not the same as our criteria. 

Sometimes something such as profession is used to rule out a woman.  I know I use that because there are certain careers that do not match up well with mine.  Height is another.  It may sound shallow and arbitrary, however sometimes you just need to thin out the candidate pool (I have over 500 [simply stating a fact and not bragging] women that I have been matched with.  I am trying to get it down to a 10% of that or 50, so that is a quick way)  Weight and physical appearance are easier to use criteria, however you need to be a paying member of a matchmaking site or on a dating site. 

Weight and physical appearance are tricky subjects for men.  This is because what we may see as acceptable may not be acceptable in the eyes of the woman we are pursuing.  We may think you are hotter than any celebrity we can think of, however you may not see yourself that way.  As much as it may hurt to be rejected by a woman because she does not like my physical appearance, it does help me narrow down the women.  

As far as how do we choose to initiate communication with, it is someone who not only stands out from all the other generic answers, but also someone we have common ground with.  Stating that you do not begin communication proceedings does not weigh heavily on us unless we have interest in you already.  Stating that you are loosing faith in the website may get us to respond to you faster if we have even a little more than passing interest in you, however do not abuse that.

Women contacting me through the matchmaking site always get at least an wink/poke/nod from me.  However once we start communicating I will let you know if we are clicking or not.  And I expect the same from any woman I am talking to.

The thing I like about the matchmaking site, I am on is that it is tiered.  The top set of tiers is the women who have reached out to me and/or I have reached out to.  The next tier is women that I have given the nod to or have given me the nod.  The next tier is just women I have been matched with.  The second to last tier is women who I have separated out that I do not think that I match with.  The final tier is women who have decided definitely that we do not match or women who I have decided that I do not definitively match with them.  So unless I have come to the conclusion that we do not match, then we can still get to know each other.  I like it because sometimes you can miss a real gem just by process of elimination.


The advice doled out is unqualified and is just for entertainment purposes. Your results may vary. The author is in no way responsible for any consequences be they positive or negative.