Dating and matchmaking sites always ask questions about your ideal match and "must have" trait(s). Ideal match or ideal traits are perfect world. On the other hand, "must haves" or non-negotiable traits are real world. Who would not want to be married to 5'10" independently wealthy fashion model who loves puppies?
The truth is that the way those questions are answered make a lot of difference especially when most sites post those answers near the top of the profile. Being vapid and shallow can lose you a perfectly nice man who would make you happy all the days of your life. The other problem is going negative. Some do it often and early.
Just as it is a rule not to discuss on a first date your past relationships and why they failed, it is also important that you not lead with negatives in your profile. This especially true when the question asks for a positive. And negatives commonly come in two forms. They are either direct or indirect.
A direct negative is simply that. You come right out and say that someone must not have a characteristic that you find unappealing. "He cannot be lazy." "I do not want someone who drinks all the time." "Video gamers need not apply." "If you club hop, then keep going White Rabbit." What it says is that your past relationships fit into the category that you just mentioned. They were lazy or they drank too much or they played video games relentlessly or went to the clubs. This signals to men that you are still bitter about the way the previous guy treated you and are not ready for a relationship.
The indirect negative can be a little more subtle or not-so-much. The indirect negative is often stating something that should go unsaid. "He has to have a J-O-B." "He has to have his own money." Men on a site where you have to pay, sometimes as much as $40 a month, to interact generally have jobs if they are paying member. If they are not paying then you are not hearing from them.
In fair disclosure, I go negative not once, but twice in my own online profiles. Once to expound and the other as a simple exclusion. I have found that a statement that I make early on in my profile was not specific enough or strong enough to convey my point, so after making my point very positively I threw in a negative example to clarify my point. The second is a simple exclusion that I do not date women in my field. I just do not want things from work to spill over into my personal life and they tend to do that enough with friends from my career field. Friends go home at the end of the night and you can "take time off" if the debate gets too heated, however relationships do not work that way.
The advice doled out is unqualified and is just for entertainment purposes. Your results may vary. The author is in no way responsible for any consequences be they positive or negative.
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