It Was The Best Advice And It Was The Worst Advice

A major matchmaking site recently told its subscriber base that the key to finding the right match was to reach out to all the people with whom they have paired you.

In my case that would be a laborious effort that would consume way too much of my time.  This site that purports to pair you with those few souls who could potentially be your soul mate has nearly 4,000 women with whom it has paired me for the previous 12 months.  And admittedly, those are very weak matches.  I am the exception rather than the rule according to them.

So why is this both the best advice and the worst advice for those of you who do not receive 10 matches a day on an average day?  Let us start with the worst and work our way to the best.

Time is the most precious resource that we have.  Do you really want to spend it pursuing a relationship that you really do not want? Of course, you do not.  And you are going to remember all those men that you do not like and not really remember the winners in the bunch.  And with all that corresponding, you could potentially get the men mixed up unless you did it serially.

The best part of the advice is that it gets you communicating which the number one issue men cite when they speak of not paying for membership to these sites.  They send out message that go unanswered.  They may see a woman that is not exactly what they are looking for, however might just be exactly what they need.  A little encouragement could spur them to communicate.  Unless you are exactly what I am looking for, I am not going to initiate communication.  However, I generally will do something to thank the woman who shows interest in me even though the feeling is not mutual.  It takes a lot of bravery to hit that button marked send even if it is only attached to a virtual wink or smile.  And men do appreciate that.

Here is my advice as it applies to their advice.  Men do not want to be pursued by a woman who is not into them, so do not do that.  However, men do appreciate a woman who is willing to take a risk on them.  Divide the men you are matched up with into three groups.  The men who in way, shape, or form fit your realistic mold of what you are looking for you put in the delete group.  These are the men who you get off your radar screen immediately.  Then next group is the most obvious.  These are the men that you are interested in.  Communicate with them in whatever fashion you feel comfortable.  If you think that the man should do all the pursuing then send a virtual hello of whatever sort.  That way he at least is aware of your presence.  Beginning the communication process formally is never a bad thing either.  The third group is the most overlooked group.  It is the men for whom you are neither hot nor cold.  If they communicate then you do too.  And on the occasional rainy day, send one or two of them a virtual hello and see what happens.  You may even begin the process of communicating with them on this metaphorical rainy day.  These men may just be what you have been looking for all this time and never known it.


The advice doled out is unqualified and is just for entertainment purposes. Your results may vary. The author is in no way responsible for any consequences be they positive or negative.